edify

Thursday, September 25th, 2008 | | No Comments
So how does it feel to know that someones kid in the heart of america
Has blood on their hands, fighting to defend your rights
So you can maintain the lifestyle that insults this family's existance
Well, where I'm from we have a special salute we aim high in the air
Towards all those pompous assholes who spend their days pointing fingers

Fuck you

All the way from the east to the west
We've got this high society looking down on this very foundation
Constantly reminding us that our actions are the cause of all their problems
Pointing the fingers in every direction
Blaming their own nation for who wins elections
They've never contributed a fucking thing to the country they love to criticize

defunct

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 | | No Comments

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

tintinnabulation

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 | | No Comments

One thing I’ve learned in the last seven years: in every game and con there’s always an opponent, and there’s always a victim. The trick is to know when you’re the latter, so you can become the former.

scion

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 | | No Comments

There is something about yourself that you don’t know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I’m special. We share an addiction. We’re approval junkies. We’re all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin’ rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we’re just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

no more

Monday, September 22nd, 2008 | | No Comments

Imagine becoming a best-selling novelist, and almost immediately famous and wealthy, while still in college, and before long seeing your insufferable father reduced to a bag of ashes in a safety-deposit box, while afterAmerican Psychoyour celebrity drowns in a sea of vilification, booze, and drugs. Then imagine having a second chance ten years later, as the Bret Easton Ellis of this remarkable novel is given, with a wife, children, and suburban sobriety—only to watch this new life shatter beyond recognition in a matter of days. At a fateful Halloween party he glimpses a disturbing (fictional) character driving a car identical to his late father’s, his stepdaughter’s doll violently “malfunctions,” and their house undergoes bizarre transformations both within and without. Connecting these aberrations to graver events—a series of grotesque murders that no longer seem random and the epidemic disappearance of boys his son’s age—Ellis struggles to defend his family against this escalating menace even as his wife, their therapists, and the police insist that his apprehensions are rooted instead in substance abuse and egomania. Lunar Parkconfounds one expectation after another, passing through comedy and mounting horror, both psychological and supernatural, toward an astonishing resolution—about love and loss, fathers and sons—in what is surely the most powerfully original and deeply moving novel of an extraordinary career.

undulate

Monday, September 22nd, 2008 | | No Comments

In John McCain’s Monopoly, once you’re way ahead, you’re supposed to voluntarily give a small portion of your money to the other players.

In John McCain’s Monopoly, there is a lettuce picking square, and if you land on it, you win the game.

In John McCain’s Monopoly, once the bank runs low on money, the poorest players have to give 30% of their money to it to make sure the game doesn’t collapse.

In John McCain’s Monopoly, you’re never allowed to know how many houses you own.

In John McCain’s Monopoly, did I mention John McCain served 5 years in a POW camp?

evanescent

Monday, September 15th, 2008 | | No Comments

On heroin I think that everything I do is innocent and full of love and I have a yearning to bond with humanity and I am relaxed and serene and focused and am frank and am caring and make so many y friends (who dwindle away and who do not make it). At the time I discover dope I also discover a newfound awareness of who I hate and that person is me. I start outlining, writing and promoting a new biography called “Life of Stank”. This endeavor is not going over well with the few sincere friends of mine. I promise those few sincere friends of mine that I am clean again and my life continues on, blessed by a lie that an award winning novel/screenplay is forth coming.
Weeks crawl by.
I’ve made little progress on the book. I have delved so deep into the material that I cannot tell the difference between the romantic lie and the factious truth.
On a business trip to San Fran I am found by a metro cop, in the back of a service elevator of a BART elevator, picking at nonexistent scabs.
On a subsequent business trip to New Jersey, I am found by a client allegedly encouraging a Doberman pinscher to perform cunnilingus on a passed out Beastie Boy groupie (I convinced her I was Mike D) behind a Borders book store. When said animal failed to show interest in said groupie i, apparently, punched the animal in the face and received several bites that required medical attention.
On the tail end of this business trip, while in Maine I locked myself in an employee bathroom. Despite repeated attempts to coax me out of said bathroom, I emerged hours later screaming “I HAVE A SNAKE IN MY MOUTH”. Authorities were called, the remainder is a blur although I believe a young yeshiva student was repeatedly groped and fondled during the subsequent incarceration.

evanescent

Friday, September 12th, 2008 | | No Comments

A friend of mine sent me this email today.

For those of you deciding to partake in voting this year (in California); I urge, encourage, insist and PRAY that you EDUCATE yourselves on the FACTS of certain sensitive and important issues first. Do NOT allow yourselves to be swayed by the passionate OPINIONS of either side. Gather the facts and make a decision for yourself. Don’t be a fool and vote blindly. It is your moral obligation as an American citizen with the LUXURY of having freedom in so many ways to at least take the time to vote. The best way to say thank you for that freedom that we ALL take for granted, is by showing appreciation and making a sacrifice; sacrifice a small portion of your time to educate yourself on the issues and go vote.
I will be the first to admit that I have been a lazy, ignorant and an in-active voter all my adult life. Thankfully, my eyes have been opened to what really matters as I hope to do the same for some of you.
To preserve the integrity of this matter and keep it unbiased, I will NOT share what my vote will be on the specific proposition at hand, which would be Prop 8:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proposition_8
“ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Fiscal Impact: Over next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact on state and local governments.”
Marriage was, is and should always be recognized as a HOLY union as specified by each religious denomination. Marriage in ALL religions has always been specifically reserved for a man and a woman (or women in some religions - ‘polygamy’). Giving Marriage rights to same-sex couples would mean forcing religious denomiations to go against their own beliefs. The rights of homosexuals are still in tact if this proposition passes.
What many other states have done to address this delicate matter is to create what is called a “Civil Union”:
“In other states, civil unions or domestic partnerships are available to couples of the same sex, often carrying the same entailments as marriage, under a different name.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
If this prop does not pass, religious denominations will be forced to go against their beliefs and marry same-sex couples. If they refuse to marry the same-sex couples, they highly risk being sued, and some religious leaders have already suffered major persecution and legal repercussions. In no way are the religious denominations saying they “hate” homosexuals (as the opposing campaign states “8 is Hate”), in fact most are warm and welcoming to them.
Ask yourself this: how would YOU feel if someone told you to do something against your beliefs and your heart…or else?!
I conclude:
Voting ‘YES’ on Prop 8: Marriage will only be for a man and a woman.
Voting ‘NO’ on Prop 8: Marriage will be recognized for any gender.
*for those of you NOT located in California I very humbly request that you forward this to your friends and family here in Cali.

And here was my reply:

As Sam Jackson would say… “Are you finished? Well Allow me to retort”

If it is an argument towards fairness, fairness for religious denominations, then the argument contains faulty logic.

Giving Marriage rights to same-sex couples would mean forcing religious denomiations to go against their own beliefs. The rights of homosexuals are still in tact if this proposition passes.

Patently untrue and contradictory. This is a “blanket” style argument. Most of the religious organizations I have been exposed to are opposed to divorce yet the State recognizes and has made legal the right to terminate the legal contract or “Holy Union” of marriage. Should their be a Constitutional Amendment banning divorce because it offends Religious organizations? In my neighborhood (yes, it is biased since it is Hillcrest) there are a number of recognized (tax status) churches that do (and will) be happy to perform same-sex marriages. Therefore the broad generalization that “religious organizations” will be forced to go against their beliefs applies only to a section of the greater population.

If this prop does not pass, religious denominations will be forced to go against their beliefs and marry same-sex couples.

Again, this is only partially true and applies mainly to Puritan-Christian belief systems. Buddhist Monks have performed same-sex unions in the past. As a matter of fact, there is no objection of the Buddha found in the Tipitaka. To be precise, the Buddha was neither supportive nor against marriage between members of the same gender. In the Jewish religion, homosexuality is categorically forbidden by the Torah and remains the current view of Orthodox Judaism, but not of Reconstructionist Judaism and Reform Judaism. Islam, of course, patently outlaws homosexuality but fundamental Islamic sects also denies fundamental human rights to women.

If they refuse to marry the same-sex couples, they highly risk being sued, and some religious leaders have already suffered major persecution and legal repercussions.

Name one religious leader who has been sued for refusing to marry a same-sex couple? I can’t think of one but I will google the issue myself. I cannot walk into a Synagogue and demand to be married as that I am not Jewish. The Catholic faith (mine by birth) routinely denies marriage to a couple if the priest has concerns about the union, the Church leaves it up to individual parishes to decide the matter. A marriage ceremony is a “purchased” service. If you get married in a church, you pay the church. If you get married at the county clerk’s office, you pay the county clerk’s office. You can’t walk into just any Doctor’s office and demand and abortion or plastic surgery or to have a limb removed. Organizations are not at risk of litigation if they refuse to perform a ceremony. Trust me on this, Gays and Lesbians know where they are not welcome.

Think about how it would make you feel if a law was passed legally obligating you to do something against your own beliefs?

This Propostion, if passed, will violate my own personal beliefs that a man or woman should have the right to do whatever they want as long as it does not deny me the same right.

That’s all I can say on the matter. I mean you no ill will Liz and I still love and respect you. This is the United States of America and we all have a right to have our voice heard. You used yours and in writing this response, I simply did the same.

Respectfully submitted, Chris Brown

despair

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 | | No Comments

RIP Evan Tanner

You were a great person, a talented fighter and someone I looked up to a lot. You will be missed.

Gruyère

Thursday, September 4th, 2008 | | No Comments

http://tenpound.yelp.com

Ive been writing some reviews of the places I went during my NYC trip.