10 pounds ‘o blog

quondam

On disappointment. Life is full of disappointment. Like, I’m still really ticked off that I’m not a superhero. I thought if I waited long enough I’d develop superpowers and start going on adventures. I’m starting to suspect that it may never happen. Where is my mutant healing factor? Where is my web-slinging ability and my own private batcave? I am very very very disappointed. Now look at me, some goofy IT worker trying to be writer and shit. What the hell? How did my dreams go so terribly wrong? Then again, maybe the superheroes of the world are pissed that they’re not webcartoonists. Maybe they’re like, “How come I never developed any fantastic drawing skills? Where are my life drawing capabilities? Where is my command of composition and color, my lyrical storytelling and deft comedic timing? Oh cruel world, why oh why must I wear this gay costume and fight assholes in the streets day after day after day? Being a superhero sucks. Webcartoonists got it good! Luckyyyy!”

weltanschauung

Recent Movies Seen
Jarhead
Seen with: Dad
Pros: Accurate about the hurry up and wait factor and utter boredom of Mililtary life
Cons: Utterly unrealistic war brutality factors
Out of 5 stars? = 3.75

Derailed
Seen with: Helen
Pros: Jennifer Anniston (I love her) and Clive Owen (great actor) and twist ending
Cons: 3/4 of movie bored me to tears and Jennifer didnt get nekkid and I figured out of the ending about 3/4 of the way into the movie
Out of 5 stars? = 3

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
Seen with: Dad
Pros: Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr…………great chemistry. Great narration, very funny at times and Michelle Monaghan is utterly gorgeous in this movie
Cons: not enough Val and the ending with the father scene seemed unnecessary
Out of 5 stars? = 4.25

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Seen with: nobody
Pros: Its fucking Harry Potter….nuff said
Cons: These kids are getting a bit old to be portraying 14 year olds….Harry had chest hair in the gratuitous bathroom scene (no joke, look for it)
Out of 5 stars? = 4.5

jactancy

I am in the market for new screenplay software. I am thinking of Movie Magic Screenwriter.

I need to call my Daughter and buy her a ticket to come see me in December.

I need to buy a ticket for my flight to NYC for the weekend of the 17th.

I need to take Tenpound thru Zul Gurrat this afternoon with Scorned Lot.

I need to lose 10 pounds.

I need to call Mere and see if she and Camel (whatever his name is) really broke up.

I need to write Heather a letter.

I need to call my Mom.

I need to go to the gym, eat right, not smoke and stop drinking.

I need to hang some pictures on the wall of my home.

I need to save more money and study for something.

I need to hit the container store, clean out my closet and organize my shit.

I wont let this build up inside of me.
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
My end ….It justifies my means
All I have to do is delay
I’m given time to evade
The end of the road is my end
It justifies my means
All I have to do is delay
I’m haven’t time to evade and I wont let this build up inside me

schizothemia

I have written some very odd shit lately. Blatherings from somewhere dark inside me. I never intended for this to turn into some kind of angst fest like LiveJournal dot com or something similar and I am confident that it won’t, despite my recent darkly themed posts. Even if the dark and violent stuff continues, its not really that brooding, just dark and threatening. None of it is the common drivel that is so “oh poor me” and “life sucks”. I don’t find myself to be an unhappy person. I generally have fun at what I do (even work at times) and although I may indulge in a less than perfect and healthy lifestyle, I am ok with where I am. There are some things that piss me off and make me wonder “wtf?” but everyone is like that. Anyone who is perfect and doesn’t ponder “wtf?” at times is either a Jesus-Freak stoned on the opium of the masses, crazy out of their mind, stoned or plain old opium (or any other psychoactive derivative) or a combination of all 3. Therefore I conclude that I am perfectly normal just like all of the rest of people my age even if I dont partake in the common activities of the common people (my age).

New stuff……………
Christmas is coming….Thanksgiving was just here. I went to Mike Papes house and it was great, I really enjoyed his company. Sometimes Im not sure that I really fit in with his group of friends. 2 are friends of his from that fair he goes to where everyone dresses up like a knight or a wench or something. They are really into it. They talk about it and I have nothing to add which means I stay quiet and drink all the wine. They are exceptionally nice though and enjoy fantasy and sci-fi (obviously) so we can interact that way. Then there are the frenchies. By that I mean his friend from France and his wife who is from the US but speaks French. Sometimes I can not understand him because of his accent and other times I wanna scream “come on…..you are with him????” at his wife. (his wife is pretty hot and very very smart btw) They also are very nice so I cant too much shit. As per my normal routine, I managed to escape shortly after dinner. I really love Mike to Death but sometimes I think his partner Aleks doesn’t think too highly of me. Gee, I wonder why………..

Back to Xmas………..I think I am not going to do it this year. It just has not been very fun the last couple years. It was fun as a kid, it was fun when all my family was together and now it is just a pain in the ass. I mean I don’t think I am going to buy anyone anything. Except my Daughter and Father. They get something but it wont be big. I am going to fly Vicky out to see me the week after xmas. I have to fly to NYC for a thing with Helen and her work. I have mother fucking property taxes to pay and a ski trip to France to pay for as well. This month will be the suxxxzorz. Having explained all that I will now reveal my plans for the holidays….

FESTIVUS……………THE HOLIDAY FOR THE REST OF US
As to the origins of Festivus…….read on
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born . . . a Festivus for the rest of us!
Cosmo Kramer: That must’ve been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: She was.

crepuscular

Confessions of a Teenage Messiah. Today I healed a bunch of lepers and ministered to sinners and whores. At Sunday school that Mary Magdalene sure was looking fine. If I were normal I would so hit it. But I’m not. So I won’t. Life is so unfair. Why can’t my dad be like other dads? Mine’s perfect. And all powerful. You know what a pain in the ass that is? I’m scared shitless here! He says I have to go to camp. In the desert. For 40 days and 40 nights. And the camp counselor is THE FUCKING DEVIL. And he’s gonna offer me cool things like money and power and fame and I have to turn them all down. WTF? I heard this Eastern dude, Bubba or something, did the same thing under a tree. What a weirdo. Gawd, my life is so lame. I have to save the world cuz daddy told me to. I hate you Dad! I hate you! JC <3 MM 4eva. Megadeth rulz zomgbbq1111!

cynosure

I am evil incarnate. I am the grim reaper bathed in human flesh. I think you are a fucking ugly bitch and I want to stab you in the throat and play with your blood.

I dont think I am sane. The train has left the building, all aboard for the express to hell.

Megers and acquisitions…….sounds a lot like murders and executions don’t you think?

I dont think you and I are in touch anymore….we have lost touch. My need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can no longer be controlled.

I like to dissect girls. Did you know I’m utterly insane?

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

choler

Listen, it time to keep it real for once. Sure, our foreign policy is important, but there are more pressing matters at hand. For one thing we have to end apartheid and racism. We have to slow down the arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. Ensure a strong national defense, prevent the spread of communism in Central America, work for a Middle East peace settlement and prevent U.S. military involvement overseas. We have to ensure that America is a respected world power. Now that’s not too belittle our domestic problems which are equally important, if not more. Better and more affordable long-term care for the elderly, control and find a cure for the AIDS epidemic, clean up environmental damage from toxic waste and pollution, improve the quality of primary and secondary education, strengthen the laws to crack down on crime and illegal drugs. We have to ensure that college education is affordable for the middle class and protect social security for senior citizens plus conserve natural resources and wilderness areas and reduce the influence of political action committees.

Still…economically we are still a mess. We have to find a way to hold down the inflation rate and reduce the deficit. We also need to provide training and jobs for the unemployed as well as protect existing American jobs from unfair foreign imports. We have to make America the leader in new technology. At the same time we need to promote economic growth and business expansion and hold the line against federal income taxes hold down interest rates while promoting opportunities for small businesses and controlling mergers and big corporate takeovers.

But we can’t ignore our social needs either. We have to stop people from abusing the welfare system. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights while also promoting equal rights for women in order to maintain a women’s right of choice. We also have to control the influx of illegal immigrants. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values and curb graphic sex and violence on TV, movies and games. More importantly we need to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.

ingenue

ass sex is a lot like spinach……………..if you were to have a lot of it as a child, you probably dont like it that much as an adult.

aplomb

What are blogs for? Getting the word out? Spreading good news or just bitching about things you dislike or that aggravate you? Lately, its the later that really takes precedent in my posts. Here is the latest thing to chap my ass.

The door to my home locked me in last night. Yeah, for real, I was locked in the house and I had to take the lock apart in order to get out. It seems that the door has swollen to the point where the deadlock was wedged in there so tight that the lock mechanism could not withdraw the bolt. Im not sure if it the doors fault, if the lock broke and needs to be replaced or a combo of both. Whatever the case, it pissed me off last night. Now I have to waste some time figuring that shit out. What a pain.

ebullient

I haven’t been writing much. Life is a drag when you’re feeling like such a drag. Honestly since I returned to SD from the NY gig, I’ve done nothing but sleep, eat, shit, sleep, occasional sex, sleep, drink, eat, sleep, game, sleep, drink, eat, read, sleep.

And I’ve napped a lot. I intend to write a lot more after I have had a chance to do the following
Figure out my Christmas plans
Figure out my daughters Christmas plans
Figure out how to pay for said Christmas plans
Write a few emails, make a few phone calls

ETC ETC ETC. More later, right now I need a new nap.